The not so joys of parenting

Im a single mother to a bi-racial two year old little boy.  As he is my first, and probably only, child I am learning new lessons in life everyday.  My son is a typical two year old with a not so typical attitude.  He is about to be kicked out to preschool for beating up the other kids. Yes hes the bully of the group. Needless to say I am learning how to raise a boy to be a man and im totally clueless. 

We are in the potty training period of his life and all I can say is this shit is for the birds! At night my son wears a pull up. Well last night after I tucked him in bed I was sitting outside enjoying the weather, and all I hear is my roomate screaming oh my god. This is NEVER a good sign.  My wonderful son had shit in his pant and proceeded to paint his self with it. OHHH YEA.. and you know at this age his shit smells as bad as a grown adults. I thought I was gonna puke as the smell hit my nose. My poor child had no idea what he did wrong. He was just trying to tell mommy that he needed it changed. 

So as I sat there bathing him and cleaning the walls in his room and all his toys (yes he put it on EVERYTHING) im pondering how in the hell can I make his father pay! His dad is in jail and hasnt been around much in the past couple of years. Ive found myself getting bitter that im having to do this alone. Doesnt he know how hard it is to raise a child? Thats where my lessons come in. I should have never had a child with a man who was irresponsible and narcissistic. 

We live and we learn….

Do we?

Or do make the same mistakes over and over again?

ladies night and its a zzzzzingy conversation

Its ladies night in this household. As ive said before theres three of us women in this house and my other sister is visiting so its adirty talk kinda of night.

After a couple of drinks and lowered inhibitions my roomate Winter has a look on her face as if she needs to get something off her chest.  She says, “ladies have you ever fucked a man?”  We all look at each other thinking of course we’ve had sex with a man… Winter says, “no have u ever had a man ask you to use a strap-on on him?” 

WHOA! Every single one of us had our chins to the floor.  Now I am by no means prude. At all.. and Im all for trying new things, but come on thats a little too much for me.  If a man wants me to give it to him in the ass then I assume he is in the closet and doesn’t really want a woman. Especially when hes bringing the fucking dildo to you and asking for it. 

My roomates and I typically date black men. So for this to come out about a guy she was dating really shocked us. This man had been around us and acted like he was worlds gift to women. He thought he was the man and little did he know we would laugh at him behind his back.

Back to the conversation, all of us ladies agreed that if he had instructions and brought what he needed then hes an undercover brother. We’ve all had our occasional finger in the behind moments and maybe a little tossing his salad but to acually fuck the man? No we all agreed thats where we draw the line in the sand.

Are we a society to which we will always have to wonder if the man we are sleeping with is sleeping with other men? Or WANTS to sleep with other men?

Being single sucks! Sometimes its great 

Being single sucks! Getting laid is hard

The singles club? More like four lazy bitches who need to get a life.

The beginning

To start off I would like to give a little background on who I am.  I am a 30 year old single mother to an incredibly smart, energetic two and a half year old boy.  He is my world and changed me into the woman I am.  His name is Trey.  I grew up in a small town in southwest Florida, with my parents, two sisters and a little brother.  By the age of thirteen my life started to change and I started rebelling.  My parents were separating and I as the oldest child tried to rebel and started hanging with a group of guys who were way older than me.  That group of friends were the ones to show me how to be BAD!  As my parents were going through their own changes, I took advantage and started to sneak out, drink, smoke and just do all the things my parents forbid me to do. This group of friends was a mix of white and black guys and I loved every minute of the hood lifestyle.  My parents then decided to divorce and I wanted freedom so I decided I’d go live with my father.  He let me get away with everything!  We moved into an apartment complex in the heart of town and i let my wild side out!  I was basically my fathers keeper and had to help him in a very grown up way.  I learned so much during these years in how to have street smarts. I hung out with kids that were in and out of Juvie and who sold drugs.  This was also the years that I was introduced to drugs. I dated older men and lost my virginity to my first love Evan. Evan was a bad boy who was in and out of trouble and I loved it! I loved the bad boys and I loved the crews we hung out with even more! This was my introduction to life on the streets.  I couldn’t stay away from these people! They were everything that I was raised to stay away from.  My parents always told me I couldn’t hang with trouble makers and I COULD NEVER date a black man.  That was their first mistake.  I wanted to do everything they said I couldn’t do as most teenagers these days do.  My father worked so much so I was alone most of the time and that’s when I started high school. I rode the bus the first day and at my bus stop were a group of kids standing together talking. I could only hear bits and pieces of their convo but I knew I wanted to be apart of that group.  There were about 4 black guys, 2 black girls and a Spanish girl. The Spanish girl was loud and talking about a friend of hers that got into a fight and her friend took a razor to the other girls face!! All I could think about was that I never wanted to be on her bad side and that I’d like to hear more of these crazy stories. As the beginning of the school year started I started to hang out with this group of friends. They were all crazy and fun and had the biggest hearts.  I made especially good friends with one of the black boys.  His name is Charles. You will hear allot about Charles in my blog because we are still best friends after 15 years. That group of friends were nothing like I thought they would be.  They were all good people who would be in my life for years to come. 

High school was one of the best times of my life. I started dating black men behind my parents back and I would get in trouble because of it constantly.  My dad and mother are raised in the south and unfortunately they def were racist.  My dad bought me a brand new car at 16 but told me if he ever caught any black people in he’d take it away.  For me that was a challenge! Lol I have not one racist bone in my body and so I did what I wanted! I would skip school with my black friends all the time and we would drive to other cities and just hang out up there all day. Mind you when my dad bought me my new car he put a name plate on the front in mirrors that said my name MISTY. Everyone knew my car because it was hard to miss! So skipping school and staying in our town was too risky! The funny thing is I’ve always had bad luck when it comes to being bad. I ALWAYS get caught. Anyway one day we were skipping school and we were in the city north of us. I have my best friend Charles and 3 other friends from our group in the car as well. We were jammin to Trick daddy dancing and riding when all of a sudden a big ford truck pulls up next to us. I wasn’t paying attention, and when I finally looked over I see my dad’s best friend pointing at me to roll down my window! Omg! I about shit my pants! Here we are in a city we are NOT supposed to be in, at the time we SHOULD be in school, and I have a car full of black friends that aren’t allowed in my car!!  BUSTED!!! My dad’s friend says “aren’t you supposed to be in school?” I said nope and hit the gas out of there! We were all terrified. Me especially!  I’m the one who has to go home and face my father. I’m the one who was gonna have her car taken away. And I was the one who father was racist!  The whole ride home I was sick with fear.  I ended up grounded for a week and my car was taken that long as well.  I didn’t care though. I loved my friends and I wasn’t going to stop hanging out with them because of their skin color. All through high school this happened quite a lot. I’d get caught with my black friends in my car or in my apartment, my dad would ground me and I would be right back at it. I had my first black boyfriend in high school and I’ve dated black men ever since. My parents got better with it as I got older but that will be in my next entry.

No sex in the city

No sex in the city.

No sex in the city

Im sitting at home on a friday night with my sister (roomate 1), and my girlfriend (roomate 2) and we are chatting about our lame night. We are three single women in our late 20’s early 30’s and yet here we were home together complaining about the lack of dick/men in our lives. Seriously though! We are not ugly women at all and we are all hard workers (to a fault). So why is it that we are dateless on a friday night?  

Ill tell you why…because we are each one of us broken someway or another from a previous relationship. This is a sad situation. We have let another person control our ways of thinking and thus far still single. Its not for a lack of trying. Trust me, we have been on the prowl.

As women we walk, talk and think about sex just as much as men do. But with our age and the way we were raised we wont just sleep with any Tom, Dick and Harry. And that, my friends, has created a problem. We are horney and looking at each other isnt helping the situation.

Where when we get sex in the city instead of sexless in the city?